HONOLULU (HI Now) - July is not just the halfway point of summer; it also marks the middle of “PCS Season” for our local military community. If you’re unfamiliar with military acronyms, PCS stands for “Permanent Change of Station.” Each year, more than 400,000 service members and their families receive orders to move to a new duty station, whether across the state, the country, or overseas. For military families, relocating is a frequent occurrence, happening three times as often as it does for civilian families. On average, military families find themselves packing up and moving every two and a half years, with more than half of these moves taking place between May and August.
The Steven A. Cohen Military Family Clinic at Child & Family Service has compiled essential tips and support for families facing PCS moves, particularly those transitioning to or from Hawaii. HI Now Daily spoke to the Cohen Clinic’s Lead Clinician, Joseph Hurtado, LMHC, CCMHC, NCC, about supporting kids during this transition.
Children of different ages express their feelings in various ways. Younger children might exhibit anxiety through clinginess or behavioral changes, while teenagers may become withdrawn or irritable as they cope with leaving friends and familiar routines. To set their families up for success in a new community, parents can familiarize themselves and their children with the new location. Here are some tips:
- Visit beforehand: Explore schools, playgrounds, and local amenities. If your next duty station is overseas, try sitting down and Googling what the area looks like.
- Utilize resources: The MilitaryINSTALLATIONS section on Military OneSource offers valuable information about the area.
- Engage in community activities: Once you arrive, participating in community activities and joining local groups can help the family integrate more smoothly.
Managing stress and anxiety is crucial, and establishing routines can provide stability for your kids. Here’s how you can do that:
- Encourage responsibility: Children taking on age-appropriate responsibilities during the move can give them a sense of control.
- Model positive coping strategies: Parents should practice self-care and use tools like the Plan My Move checklist from Military OneSource to organize tasks and reduce overwhelm.
- Frame the move positively: Present the move as a positive opportunity. Encourage children to explore new interests, share stories of successful transitions, and highlight opportunities for growth and new experiences to foster optimism.
Here are more tried-and-true strategies to stress less during a PCS:
- Frame your PCS move as a positive: Infuse some fun into your move. Use it as a chance to reconnect with old military friends by meeting up with them enroute to your destination.
- Create a PCS safe word: Develop a safe word for your family to use in times of stress to signal that someone needs to take a moment or a break.
- Ask for what you need: Military spouses often take on the burden of the move, which can become overwhelming. Communicate your needs clearly using “I” statements.
- Splash cold water on your face: When something goes wrong during the PCS process, it’s easy to spiral into negative thoughts. Ask yourself – is this thought true or helpful?
Remember, you’re not alone. Reach out, connect, and make use of the abundant resources available to ensure a successful and smooth PCS move for your family. Learn more on the clinic’s website or by calling 808.204.4020. The Mililani clinic is part of Cohen Veterans Network (CVN), a not-for-profit philanthropic organization that serves the military community through a nationwide system of mental health clinics. Together with Child & Family Service, the team has provided mental health services to thousands of members of the post 9/11 military community, including children.
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